Yes, that is my little monkey in the ambulance. Before you get too worried, he is fine!
Last Sunday afternoon, I attended a lovely mama blessing for an expectant friend. After a busy and slightly hectic week, it was such a joy to turn the phone (and computer) off and tune into the ritual of nurturing a mama before birth.
As we took a little break in our ceremony, I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone. Even though it was on silent, I could see that I had a message from Papa Bear. Knowing that he was aware that I was not available, I immediately felt alarmed. I stepped away and listened to my message.
A bike accident? Hospital? He is okay…he is okay…he is okay.
My heart pounding, I jammed the call back button.
Luckily, he answered. Yes, they had an accident on the bike. No, he was not badly injured. But, he has probably broken a bone in his foot.
The monkey grabbed the phone. “Mama, I go in nambulance to hospital!” His voice was filled with excitement instead of fear.
Dilemma: Do I leave and meet them at the hospital? Do they need me?
A few deep breaths. He sounds fine. He didn’t ask me to come. This is a good opportunity for him and his Dad to work through something challenging together, without me there.
The mama instinct to go and “make it all better” is strong. There are times when I notice that this disrupts the relationship between my husband and son. I also can become pretty controlling around how things should be done. Did he have the right insurance card for the hospital? Did he ask the right questions? Does the doctor really know what she is talking about?
The deepest question was: “Is it wrong to stay to complete the blessing when my little guy is hurt?” Oh mama guilt, there you are again, old friend.
We agreed that I would meet them at the house after the mama blessing ended. Papa Bear was calm (a bit rattled) and handling the situation well. The little guy wasn’t asking for me.
Then I had to follow through with my choice. I knew that I could either feel worried and guilty for the next hour, or I could trust that they were okay and stay present with the ceremony. As I was helping to facilitate the blessing, my mindfulness was particularly important.
Did the worry continue to arise? Of course! But, I stayed connected to my body and kept reminding my mind that they had it handled and the little monkey was fine.
On the way home, the phone rang again. Instantly, my mind went to the thought: “Oh no, they found something else wrong with him.” I took a deep breath and let that one go.
“The little guy needs some french fries, Mama, can you pick them up on your way home.”
French fries? Yes, I can do that!
