I hate being late.
I know, I know, hate is a strong word! But when I am late to an appointment, meeting, party, event (you name it) my gut is twisted, my driving gets punchy, and that furrow between my brow (newly deepened it seems) becomes a valley.
These days, I feel like I am always late. I realize that I am still adjusting to life with a baby, the pace of his timing, the arm loads of stuff, the unexpected chaos. In many ways, I feel like a first-time Mom again.
I remember sitting in my midwife’s office last year and when she asked me about my pregnancy with Sweet Boy, my mind went blank. It was so long ago. Almost half a lifetime.
So most days, I am about 15 minutes late. The usual excuses abound: a last minute poopy diaper, forgot something and had to rush back in the house, the monkey not cooperating with leaving, but what it really comes down to is I am not in reality about how long it actually takes to get both of us out the door.
Some days I just want to toss in the towel and stay home. But what kind of attitude is that? So, as a Personal Coach supporting women and mothers, I am giving myself these tips to cope with my own rotten attitude about not being on time.
- Shift my perspective about being “on time.” I am learning that unless I have made a commitment about arriving at a particular time, it is actually fine to be a few minutes late. Gasp. Usually, I am the first one to arrive at a party or event anyway!
- Keep my time agreements loose when possible and set up a “I will call you if I am running a few minutes late” clause when meeting friends.
- Stop making excuses. There is no need to say why I am late. Just acknowledging that I am late is enough. Excuses are usually just my way of making myself feel/look better anyway.
- Drop the story that people think poorly of me when I am a few minutes behind schedule.
- Be ready 15 minutes before I need to leave the house.
- Be on time when it really matters, like when I have made a commitment or am meeting a client. Being on time for client appointments is easy because I plan to be in my office 30 minutes before my first session. But, if I am running behind, I am the one who misses out on my time for centering and preparing.
Like most things, my struggle with time is all about attitude and perspective. By the way, as I sit writing this blog, I am already five minutes late to a friend’s birthday party. The monkey is taking a much needed nap. What can I say?
Breathing deeply.
Growing up, my mother was always late. To everything. And hence so was I. And I grew up hating being late; as an adult, I always strove to be early instead. But like you, I am still adjusting to Baby Time. You’d think a year would be enough time to learn that I need 20 minutes to get ready to leave the house, not 5. And I think it will only get more challenging as he gets older and more “into” his own interests and playtime.
One thing is certain: I now have more understanding for the lateness of the other mothers in my life!